Dignity and Home: Two Powerful Emotional Insights for Leaders

Last month, Thomas Friedman, in conversation with his New York Times colleague David Brooks about the rise of populism in the world, shared a striking insight, that he's shared before. In Friedman's experience covering conflict, the two most powerful emotions driving human beings are first, the quest for dignity and anger at humiliation, and second, the longing to be anchored in a safe, respectful home. He says this drives him, too.

Friedman explains:

"Let me start with what is a bedrock thing in my identity, and I think it’s in yours, too. For me, the two most powerful emotions driving human beings are one: humiliation and dignity. The quest for dignity and the revulsion of humiliation.
... I felt that’s really what I was covering, whether it’s about China or Russia or Palestinians or anything else.

But the second thing, the second most powerful human emotion, I believe, is home. It’s a quest for home, to be anchored in the world. As my friend Andy Karsner describes it, “to be anchored in a community where people are connected, protected and respected.”


This insight is gold for leaders embroiled in difficult negotiations and conflict resolution.

When a negotiation, leadership relationship, or deal gets bumpy, how might concern for dignity or home, ours or theirs, be at play?

Are others trying to humiliate us or keep from being humiliated? Are others looking for an organizational "home" where they are protected, respected, and connected?

If so, what constructive moves -- words, concessions, proposals, initiatives -- might we create that will acknowledge others dignity or protect their sense of home in ways that will help keep things from falling apart?

The whole interview is fascinating and rich with lessons for leaders (and citizens).